sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
