am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I fill condoms, not promises.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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