I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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