16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
