That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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