so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
