i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize