I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
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