you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize