my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
