i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
