D3 body, D1 cock
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
