Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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