It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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