I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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