Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize
