oh god the rape fog is back!
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Floor bacon is actually really good
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
