this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
