I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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