i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
