I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
