They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
