I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
