you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
Randomize
