I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I wish you could order shots online.
You're like the curious george of whores
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
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