I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
either way he was missing a nipple.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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