Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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