Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize