At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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