I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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