Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
True but thats because hes a fetus.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Randomize