Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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