You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
