so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
