and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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