I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Randomize
