he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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