When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
