I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
