great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
That accounts for only three of the penises
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize