someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
