no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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