I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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