i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
