First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
