just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Randomize