Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
