The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
