I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
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