It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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