Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
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