There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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