Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
