Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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