i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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