i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
i just google imaged poop.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize