why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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