I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Randomize
