If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
