If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
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