THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
