Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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