he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
