I want to make a zoo with you.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
