I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
