I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Randomize
