From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize