Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Church boner. Awkwardddd
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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