Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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