can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
MIDGETS
????
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
