All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
