I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
