video games are the ultimate cock blocker
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
