Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Randomize
