you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
