Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
