I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
You dont lie about slip and slides
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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