this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Did we literally take a cab across the street
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
