I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
